What I fear, what I hate, what I become

We stand up for what we value. I stood up for what I value and resisted against doing what I detested. But I realised I was standing on the thawed ice. Instagram photos, German diner, woman with a hair-roll taught me a lesson how to look inside my fragile ego. I look back why I came to hate modern day photo-taking and how it’s connected to my fear and fragile ego.

The photo album in my phone has 47 photos since 2014. Most of them are cats and screenshots or things I should remember. That’s how much I don’t enjoy taking pictures. Even more so when it comes to special moments. People say pictures help them remember the moments more vividly. Well, I have different senses for feeling the moment. I enjoy the colour smeared in the reflected atmosphere, the temperature to my skin, the smell of air, and the feeling in my stomach when I recall them. However distorted the image may be, I still prefer to experience with my emotion as I perceived than remembering the facts. The mere visual effect of photos manipulates me into see the moment flat, taking away the full experience. Why stay in the shallow water when you can dive deeper with whales.

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