Rebeller’s break

I struggle against social validation. Some says that’s how it is, some says my standard is too high. Shouldn’t anyone’s standard be higher than just “fitting in” to the society? Or is it the wisdom we need to nurture to be able to live in symbiosis?

I can’t fight every time. And it’s not like I can easily change the fundamental problem that’s rotting from the root. I was on the phone with my friend and told her how frustrated I was about my workplace. My mental health, my ethics, my project, my team, the people all were at insecurity because of the rotting work culture. She asked, “is there anything you can do to stop that?” I said, “I can’t do anything anymore and I don’t know if I want, either. I’m worn out.” That was a few weeks before I left.

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In defence of my face

I’m okay with my face. But are others okay with it? Assumption that we all pursue physical appeal for anything is the by-product of our highly competitive, low self-esteemed society.

A few weeks ago, I had to have my picture taken by a professional in order to renew my passport. I had some thought, as the photo will follow me for 10 years from now, that I should not take it so lightly in choosing the place as I did when I had my long hair chopped half in a local hair shop, which made me look 13 year old. So I took the chance of being in Seoul one day and found the photo shop on the main street of Gangnam which often considered to be the show window of mainstream culture.

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The patterns: labelling, stereotyping, and ADHD

As human, we yearn for meanings and definitions to understand our lives. Our desire to define them with names sometimes leads us to stereotyping but sometimes to a sense of belonging. My recent experience of ADHD test taught me labelling.

A few weeks ago, I had an odd experience of my feeling. Having a right feeling from an odd experience might sound better fitting. I was visiting Korea for a holiday and first thing I did was go on Youtube and watch almost everything that I couldn’t in internet-deficient rural Malawi. Then I stumbled upon one video showing 2 children asking which one had an ADHD. It was a bit of eye-opener given that ADHD symptoms I know was just about lacking focus and having lots of distractions. The child with ADHD answered questions calmly and very grown-up-like, compared to the other non-ADHD child. After all, the disorder wasn’t just about lacking focus and being hyper-active. I instantly got interested and searched for more about it until I made it to ADHD in adult topic. Upon reading related articles, I had some feelings and got curious if I had ADHD in adult. So I tested myself using the unofficial ADHD test for adults. (Author’s note: The points really don’t matter. This is meant to be a fun and educational video on ADHD. Lots of this can be normal behavior. We’re adding a note to this video soon to help avoid confusion. ‘WARNING: Many of these ‘Symptoms’ are common human behaviors. With ADHD they occur often, and they impair you.)

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