the wisdom of insecurity

little thoughts on insecurity, traveler, and the weather

integration and insecurity

Say, it’s winter. It’s been very cold for the last few weeks but today the sun is shining on my head and the wind has stopped. Maybe it’s not going to last long since the winter is usually longer than a few weeks, a few months more maybe. Now people wake up. Take a shower. Then have breakfast. After spending enough time to figure out what the weather is like today, they stand in front of the closet and think what to wear for a few minutes.

Now I’m out in the subway. I look at people wearing the same thing as yesterday as if it’s still cold. It’s understandable knowing the previous weather condition. And they have probably lived in that area for a while and already settled some idea that winter is winter. Even though it’s much warmer than yesterday, it’s still the winter.

Say, I’m a traveler travelling this area. I’ve been travelling for about 3 days. I woke up, took shower, then had breakfast. I stand in front of the closet and think that it feels warm today. I pick something lighter than yesterday. Because what I see is the today’s weather not the whole winter. I adapt my outfit weather-wise, not season-wise.

Say, I’ve been here and there feeling not belonging anywhere in the universe. I see things as it is. I did not or wasn’t able to settle any idea on anything, even on myself. I wake up, take shower, then have breakfast. I feel the sunshine on my head. I put on something and take the subway to work. Everyone except me is wearing a thick jacket as if it’s still freezing like yesterday. I think about why.

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