Dealing with compassion

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how I’m doing. How I’m contributing to my relationship and the health of my boyfriend. I finally would like to write about it since this is the only way I know how to really know what I’m thinking, and how I’m doing. The most difficult thing is the balance. There are moments when I have to scale the level of being compassionate and being a girlfriend. I feel like being straightforward compassionate actually risks how I feel about our relationship. It’s an extremely delicate line and also sensitive to raise as an issue.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how I’m doing. How I’m contributing to my relationship and the health of my boyfriend. I finally would like to write about it since this is the only way I know how to really know what I’m thinking, and how I’m doing.
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Why write about the “wrong”?

Why do I always write about something “wrong”? Such stressful thoughts? The topics I choose are by nature “something wrong” that I need to somehow unweave in order to feel okay. Writing about “annoying things,” for me has a therapeutic effect. There are many annoying things that touch my nerves on daily basis. But the process of writing itself often gives me the answer. Of if not, the activity of writing becomes my company and that’s good enough.

Why do I always write about something “wrong”? Such stressful thoughts? The topics I choose are by nature “something wrong” that I need to somehow unweave to feel okay. On and off, I’ve been thinking about what my boyfriend said after he read my post. He said he couldn’t finish reading it because I ramble too much about things that are just obviously wrong and annoying. Why care about it, just ignore. Something along this line. Of course I was hurt because he called my rambling ramble! How dare he calls my ramble ramble. I call it ramble just to push down expectations of others on my writing. So that I feel safe from not being criticised as a rambling, because I had already disclaimed that it’s not more than a ramble. Anyway, I understand his point, though. Why do I care about naked women in music clips and every little annoying things happening in the world?
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